Herbert Wilson and his wife went to the Isle of Wight for their summer holiday. But they were by no means pleased with their hotel. As soon as they returned home, Herbert decided to write to the Manager of Happytours.
Herbert: Can you spare a moment, dear? I want you to listen to this letter.
Margaret: Go ahead, then.
Herbert: Dear Sir, my wife and I arrived home last night after a holiday arranged by your firm, in Jersey. We stayed at the hotel described in your brochure as a comfortable, medium sized hotel, with a magnificent view of the sea, offering courteous, old fashioned service and excellent food, served in a relaxed friendly atmosphere.
Margaret: Yes, that's what the brochure said.
Herbert: In fact the hotel is situated at least half a mile from the sea. Our room overlooked a car park ...
Margaret: Through the gates of which motor vehicles were constantly arriving or departing.
Herbert: Yes, that's good. The food was strictly beef burgers and chips or fish and chips. Wine was available, but at exorbitant prices, and as for the courteous, old fashioned service, the majority of the staff were foreign and virtually incapable of speaking or understanding the English language.
Margaret: Yes, that's quite true.
Herbert: In addition to this, we were most unhappy with the arrangements for our journey home. We were instructed to catch the 11:00 am ferry ...
Margaret: Wasn't it 12:00?
Herbert: No, 11:00 ... but this was apparently delayed and we did not get away till 6 o'clock in the evening. Now that our holiday is over, it seems fairly pointless writing this letter, but I should like you to know that we were most disappointed with the hotel and travel arrangements and shall certainly not be booking any future holidays through Happytours. Yours faithfully, Herbert Wilson.
Margaret: Yes dear, that's a very good letter.
Miss Bush is talking to a travel agent in London.
Travel Agent: Good morning. Can I help you?
Miss Bush: Hello. Er, my name's Miss Bush and I'm intending to go to a conference in Sydney for three weeks.
Travel Agent: I see. Er, do you want the excursion fare or the full return fare.
Miss Bush: Now, can I get a stopover on an excursion fare?
Travel Agent: Yes, you're allowed only one stopover on the excursion fare.
Miss Bush: Oh, only one.
Travel Agent: Yes. But of course, if you pay the full return fare then you can have unlimited stopovers.
Miss Bush: Oh that's much better. Yes. You see, the thing is that I've got two weeks' holiday after the conference and I've never been out that way before at all to Australia or the Far East, and I, I wanted to go, you know, shopping or seeing Hong Kong or India or somewhere round there.
Travel Agent: Yes. Uhum.
Miss Bush: Um, where exactly can I go?
Travel Agent: Well, lots of places. There's Singapore or um, Teheran, Kuwait, Athens, you've really got quite a lot of choice you know.
Miss Bush: Mm. Well, it sounds marvellous. Um, how much would that cost? How much is the full fare?
Travel Agent: The full fare? Well, that's really quite a lot. It's ￡1204.
Miss Bush: (laughs) Yes, a thousand two hundred and four. Well, it's once in a lifetime, you know, I've never been.
Travel Agent: Mm.
Miss Bush: The thing is, actually that, um, I'm absolutely terrified of flying. I've never done it before.
Travel Agent: Oh dear. Uhum
Miss Bush: And er, um, I'm hoping that I can persuade my two friends, who are also going to the conference, to stop over with me on the way back.
Travel Agent: Yes, that would be a good idea, yes.
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